"I'm still learning things I oughta know by now"

Maybe for the first time, I finally feel my actual age.  I've always felt not quite like a twenty-something, more like I was playing pretend at being "grown up".  There have been times when things haven't gone quite right and I've thought, okay, not having things go your way, that happens to adults, so I must be one now.  I don't know, it's tough to explain.  It's even tougher to explain why I finally feel older, it's been a combination of so many things happening--good and not so good.  I feel like I'm creating a home here, and the complicated thought of leaving it has really been shoved in my face this week.

I never planned on settling in China, and I still don't.  When my closest friends here last year left for good in the early summer, I didn't think I was long for this city, which might be why I wasn't overly sad.  When I decided to pursue this career, much of the allure was the prospect of moving between cities and countries, not being tied to one place, and that was always exciting to me.  Then this year, I started meeting more and more people, spending more and more time out of doors, and the decision to spend another year after this one in my city came pretty naturally.  In the back of my mind I knew that one day I would leave, but I didn't dwell on it.  This past week, one of those new friends left the country for his own home, and all of a sudden the idea of leaving has come back at me.  It's weird, because I had close friends at home and I was able to leave them without a moment's pause because I knew that my coming here was right.  I was able to leave my family, too, but right now, the thought of someday leaving my friends here is really freaking me out.  I wonder where I will go, and if I'll meet more people as amazing and open as these...I know that I'll make friends wherever I am, because I've done it before, but it's still bugging me.  I shouldn't even be thinking about it now, I've still got loads of time to make any decision.  It's just made me realize that in this life I've chosen, I will always either be leaving or having friends leave me for new places, which is an overwhelming thought.

"My memory is cruel--the queen of attention to details"

do you think the education system in china works well?

This is the question I asked my students to answer in their homework assignment last week.  Reading through them this week, I got a majority of frustratingly balanced, bland replies; following the Chinese way, they laid out both the positives and negatives of the current system (I swear, if I had to read the phrase "The coin has both sides" one more time...).  A small handful took positions either firmly for or against the system, and an ever smaller number of those were really well-articulated.  Many people in the U.S. complain about our education system, including parents, students, and teachers, and for many reasons, but especially after reading these assignments I am even more grateful for the structure of American education and the schools and teachers that I had.  (Saying that, I'll also acknowledge that I grew up white, upper middle-class, and priveleged in my private schools, but still.)  The following is one of the better papers; I have kept all the spelling and grammar errors so people can see how English students my age write.

"To tell the truth, I think the education system in China works really not well.  As you can see, for our country, a total population of 1.3 billion (or even more), there is no one has ever won the Nobel Prize or other world top prize in any field.  But there are some ethnic Chinese do.  This proves that there isn't something wrong with our gene, but something wrong with our education or some kind of this staff.

Since I was a child, the only thing teacher had taught me was to do my multitudinous homework and exam.  I completely become a machine that can only do homework and exam mechanically.  No ideas, no innovation, no think about life.  The ultimate goal I want to reach is getting higher score.  Thus, my parents will proud of me, teachers will praise me and my classmate will admire me.  That's the reason why I go to school and study.  They don't know what really I want to do and good at to do, I don't even know myself.  Every student study hard, not driving by their inner heart, but by the vanity.  And no one would happy to the depths of his heart when studying.  Furthermore, many educators do not take the responsibility of teaching students well, but to run a training class (or do something else) to make more money.  I think this is where the education system in China works wrong.

Although there are some problems in our education system, we do believe we can get rid of it and moreover we are hopeful about our future."

You think public schools "teach to the test" in the States?  In China, your entire life is based on test scores, from what schools you can go to to what major you have to what jobs you can get.  They don't pick their own majors, even my graduate students--they are assigned majors that could have little to nothing to do with their undergraduate experience.  Extracurriculars?  Only if you're good enough to eventually make money or turn it into a career.  Graduating high school seniors are required to take the all-important national College Entrance Exam, which is only held two days out of the whole year, and if you don't do well you either go to tech/vocational school or repeat your last year of high school to STUDY MORE.  Parents and teachers discourage dating before entering university, which is one reason why my male graduate students are obsessed with finally being able to "get a girlfriend"; combine that with the estimation of average marriage age at 25, we see that they only date for a few years (and realistically probably just one person) before marrying.  Last year when I told my students that my brother went on dates with several girls when he was in high school, they were floored.

Anyway, off of my soapbox.  I'd like to thank all the teachers I know who are working in schools in the States!

"Who says I can't be free from all of the things that I used to be,
Rewrite my history, who says I can't be free?"