some lessons I've learned about china/living abroad/myself in the last three and a half months

1) I'll start with the saddest: holidays abroad are tough. I definitely should have thought a little longer about jumping for a job in a country that doesn't officially celebrate Christmas. At least it's on a weekend this year, next year it's a Monday and I'll probably have to teach! My birthday was my first "holiday" over here, but I didn't really pay attention because I was in the most pain of my life, in my face, and had to get a root canal a few days later. Thanksgiving was not so bad, because we all cooked and celebrated on Friday so I got to lay around casually prepping until dinnner. Christmas, though, is going to be the kicker. I already cried listening to my first Christmas song of the season (granted, I made it Judy Garland's "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"), and I can't listen to "I'll Be Home for Christmas" sometimes because that's what I would always listen to on my way home from Tulsa for the holidays. I did buy some decorations and cards to send, but it's too warm outside for it to be Christmas. If I can make it to, let's say December 27 without crying, it will be my Christmas miracle. Out of habit, all the native teachers still talk about "going home for Christmas", even though we won't leave until late January. Any extra prayers for me during the coming weeks will be appreciated, because it's going to be a hard time for me, I know, and my family at home.

2) Now onto the funnier: when crossing the street in China, cross with a local whenever possible; I feel like they're less inclined to hit their own kind. When this is possible, use them as a human shield, crossing on the opposite side from the direction of oncoming vehicles. Pedestrians literally never have the right of way, because traffic laws are not enforced at all. Cars and buses will cut in turn lane lines, and my favorite is when they get sick of waiting at a red light and just drive on through. Some intersections have crossing signals, but they go green when oncoming traffic is also green, so you just can't rely on them. I've developed a kind of sixth traffic sense, and have learned how to read 3 to 4 different sets of traffic signals at once to judge when I can most safely cross. The general rule of thumb is to cross when you can, where you can. They have a tendency to put the crosswalk in the widest part of the intersection, so I just walk back a bit until the road narrows so it's safer. I can even cross roads in the dark now, I'm very proud of myself.

3) Central heating is such a blessing, and I didn't realize it until I came here. BY LAW, public buildings south of the Yangtze River are not allowed to have central heat or air. This is fine in the apartment, since my mom doesn't turn on the heat unless we have company. However, in the States they would cancel class if the heat was off, so I am not used to working, teaching in a classroom that just absorbs all the cold and holds it within its concrete walls. I can't really dress cute anymore because I have to wear at least a scarf and jacket, sometimes a hat. If I have to write on the board much, I lose feeling in my fingers. I'm about to break down and buy a space heater to tote to class with me, it's that bad.

4) The internet is really fantastic, more fantastic than I ever thought. Most people probably don't know, but I get to talk to my mom everyday. Because of the time difference and the fact that most of my friends are still in school, I don't see them online or on skype as much, but I'm sure that will change come summer. It's just really cool.

5) I really hate spiders. I can handle roaches and mosquitoes and other flying buzzing things, but spiders are too much. I found one on the wall in the spare bedroom last night that was so big, it's eyeballs reflected the camera flash when I took a picture. It makes my heart stop, and then I'm freaked out for days. I hope we move into the new apartments soon so I can stop having to deal with them.

6) In contrast, I really love cheese. Cheese is not common here, and they make Chinese cheese but it's overprocessed and fake tasting, it's just depressing. So as a cheese-lover, I have to break down, splurge, and spend $6 U.S. on a little block of real American, Land-O-Lakes cheese. Metro has a really good foreign import selection, so if I ever feel really crazy, I can buy cheese from Switzerland or Ireland, or even a giant, very expensive wheel of cheese.

7) Chinese cough syrup is gross. Their sense of good hygiene is different here (i.e. not as much handwashing, virtually nonexistent covering of mouths and noses when coughing/sneezing), and the weather has been yoyo-ing, so pretty much all of the foreign teachers have been sick over the past week. I have had a cough that was making me sore from hacking so often, so I finally broke down last night, went to the Chinese pharmacy and got some cough syrup. I think it's working, but it's really disgusting.

8) "Polite" is relative. People can complain all they want about Chinese culture and how they should act a certain way, but I try to remind myself that they were not brought up being taught the same etiquette that we were in the West. Some argue that the Chinese should do things more our way if they know they're dealing with Westerners, and that foreign people shouldn't put up with the Chinese way, but going all militant on this point does not change the fact that they were raised differently. Can I note the differences between the cultures, and do those differences irk me sometimes? Yes. Am I going to make a big deal out of it? No way. No matter how much some foreigners want us to stand up for the "Western way", it's not going to change the culture, so it's not going to be permanent. I know I'm on a soapbox, but I've had to deal with some of this, and I like to think not that I'm a pushover, but rather that I know I'm not going to win a fight with the whole of Chinese culture and etiquette.

We're past halfway done with the semester, and I have less than two months until I come home for two short weeks. Is it bad that I'm already looking forward to summer and the next fall semester?

i've got that good-day-swagger

Today has been a pretty much perfect day for me, and it's always so nice to have a whole day go your way. This morning I gave my first test ever, a final exam for my undergraduate Oral English class, and it went pretty well. Sure, some students failed, but when you don't ever try or practice, your English is not going to get better, it's just how it works. I've heard that we can't really "fail" the students, so we'll see what the bosses say when I turn in Fs for a few of mine.

During class, I got a message from Amy saying that we got tickets to see Harry Potter a little before 5 p.m., which is right when people would have gotten out of the midnight showings in the States. I was so excited that we actually got tickets, and for opening day, because I didn't want to wait! After class I got fresh-made sushi from a little place down the street for so cheap, and the lady there knows me so I can just walk in and she knows what to start making, which is nice. I also got one of their 30 cent (U.S.) rice balls, which are stuffed with meat and veggies and she puts little faces on the outside with ketchup--today I got a very cute pig. I got to talk to the mahja and after lunch I finished tallying all of the grades for the undergraduate class, so now all I have to do is put them in the chart for the university and send them off!

I was too excited about the movie to stay in my apartment, so I went outside to our meeting spot a few minutes early and waited for Amy, Jason, and Julianne. The traffic was terrible, as usual, so we got to the theater right on time; we saw the movie at the IMAX theater on the fourth floor of the Wal-Mart building downtown, and Amy already had our tickets, so we just had to buy snacks.

Chinese movie theaters are a bit different. We weren't allowed to enter until 10 minutes before the showing. However, you are given assigned seats, like at a live theater or a concert, so you don't have to fight to sit with a group of friends. The tickets were about as much as they would have been at home, but the snacks were cheaper--I got a cute little Coke and popcorn for less than $3. The popcorn is caramel, as opposed to movie theater butter style, but it's okay. People brought all kinds of their own snacks, I could smell the various meats and fishes throughout the movie. They didn't dim the lights when it started, the screen just turned on with a loud bang and the IMAX commercial started. Being able to feel my seat shake makes me a little nervous, especially since I knew there were three floors underneath us, but you get used to it. The movie was in English with Chinese subtitles, so the Chinese people laughed at different parts sometimes. They also got really giddy literally ANY time anything vaguely romantic was happening, which was fairly often, if you've seen the movie. (I don't want to give anything away!) They were on their cellphones the whole time, and they definitely don't silence those suckers; hearing Chinese pop songs and the Nokia theme provided an interesting contrast to some of the more serious moments. They're up and down, crawling over each other and whispering, sometimes repeating some of the English words and phrases from the movie. Overall, though, it was SOOOO fun, because seeing a movie like that is something I've always done with friends. I'll still be here when the last part comes out in July, and I'm definitely seeing it at that theater. I'll try to get some pictures of the posters and advertisements to put on Flickr.

Since it was just about dinnertime when we got out of the movie, and since there is a McDonald's right next to Wal-Mart, we all had a delicious American fast food meal and talked about the movie. There are so many American food brands in China, but most of them taste a little different than at home, like Coca-Cola; McDonald's is one of the few things here that tastes just like home, so it is one of the most satisfying meals to have. My favorite over here is the double cheeseburger meal, and their portion sizes here are still normal/medium, so I don't feel like I'm eating too much. So delishores (this is how our Chinese students pronounce the word, and they actually know no other words to describe food but this one)!

Waiting for the bus took forever, but we knew it would, and it was actually empty when it came so we were all able to get seats! This is a miracle when coming from downtown after 5 p.m.!

I meant to post all week on another Chinese cultural topic, and yesterday, which was the three month anniversary of my arrival here, but that can be another time. I'm going to sleep so well tonight!

a few observations on the Chinese people

--I'll begin with my biggest complaint: the Chinese walk so slow. Slower than Christmas, slower even than those TU football players I used to get stuck behind leaving the caf. They also don't have a concept of 'picking a side', so they take up the whole path, and then stop right in the middle with no warning. They know that other people are around them, but they won't get out of the way; sometimes when walking at you, they actually step in your way. There, that was my big rant for this post.

--They are super-curious about foreigners. If they hear you speak English, they want to practice with you, even if they don't know more than "hello", which can be tough if you've been teaching all day and are just trying to go out with your friends. They STARE like crazy, and if it gets too bad I just stare back and they stop. They point at you and talk to their friends about you right in front of you, just like a zoo creature. The cutest thing happened to me this weekend, though, a group of girls stopped me and Amy and asked for pictures with us because we were "so beautiful". Being a foreigner here will definitely stroke the ego.

--Along with being generally curious, they are also curious about what we buy in particular. In many stores, I am closely followed by salespeople (and other customers) who offer their opinions in Chinese on any items I select. At first it seems like they are suspicious of us, but they really just want to know what we like or if they can help.

--They get pretty tickled if you can speak even a little Chinese. I was leaving the supermarket the other day when an older lady approached me, speaking rapid Chinese, I think asking about directions to someplace. I told her "ting budong", which means "I don't understand", and she actually smiled at me even though I couldn't help her. When I bought my fan at the store, all I had to say was "wo yao zhi ge", "I want this one", and the saleslady was excited to help me get it. She even wrapped string around it so I could carry it home.

--Following the last one: the salespeople are generally very helpful. Cashiers, not so much, but people working specific departments and especially clothes stores, they will bring you more options and sizes and make sure you can carry everything before they let you leave.

--The women must be born in high heels or something, because they can walk everywhere in them. Literally, there were women on the mountain the other day in their heels. It makes me jealous.

--For how many people live here, the Chinese keep the city surprisingly clean. People aren't the best about getting things to a trashcan (i.e. I walked into an empty plastic bag yesterday because they just throw things down when they're done), but there are vast amounts of street cleaners who patrol their sections of road and sidewalk with brooms and dustpans, cleaning trash and leaves. There are trucks that drive around just spraying down the roads here, and play "It's a Small World" as they do so. This being said, their version of clean means plain or dirty water, but at least they're making the effort.

--They are more attached to their cellphones than my teenage cousin. I have honestly never seen people so cellphone-obsessed. They also answer their phones no matter where they are: the bus, a restaurant, class, even the department meeting I just sat through. I have heard some pretty heated conversations, because they don't seem to care how loud they talk.

--They can get behind the wheel of a vehicle and drive, but not well. Every ride here feels like you're in a chase scene from an action movie, at least when you're not stuck in mind-numbing traffic. I read a statistic that the majority of Chinese drivers have only been licensed in the past 10 years, and that they will each be in at least 2 minor accidents per year. I'm very surprised that I've only seen a couple accidents since I've been here.

--I hate to reinforce a stereotype, but the Chinese really do look similar to each other, and with logical historical reason. Whereas Americans are made up of anywhere from two to twenty ethnicities (I am Native American and German, primarily), Chinese have Chinese ancestors. The country's borders have been closed until the last few decades, so their families have stayed here and continued ancient Chinese bloodlines for millenia. I asked two of my students if they were twins, and they laughed because even though they aren't, they come from the same hometown. There are some definite facial characteristics and types that repeat even within just my classes.

--Because there are so many more people, there are infinitely more babies, and they are cuter than any I have ever seen! I mean, these tots are downright adorable, especially now that they are all bundled up for the winter. However, because of the "one child policy"--which is more strictly enforced in the cities than the countryside--these kids are getting uber-spoiled; their parents are probably also only children, so each new baby is the sole recipient of the attention of two parents and four grandparents. I have seen older people on the bus give up their seats for kids, and I have seen some behavior that would get these kids whooped back home, everything from yelling and pouting and backtalking to actual hitting, way past the age when these should have been corrected. They just think everything is going to be the way they want it, like when my banshees just grab the A/C remote because they are hot without asking permission. It's a bit frustrating.

--They live by a 'courtyard' approach to other people: if they know you from home, work, or school, you are in their 'courtyard' and they treat you very kindly, but if you're not in these groups, you're just another stranger. This is one reason that they push their way through lines and onto the bus. On the flipside, my students are beyond nice to me, often sharing their snacks with me and helping me read Chinese text messages, because I am in their 'courtyard'.

--In contrast to the previous point, the basis of Chinese society is the family, or more generally, other people before themselves. It is so interesting to realize how individualistic American society is compared to this, and that's coming from me, having a very strong family background. The Chinese are passionate about their country and their fellow citizen, and not in the kind of Communist sheep way that the rest of the world portrays them. They feel strongly about helping their country, and sharing their culture and customs with others; they are proud of their accomplishments, and at least based on my experience with my students, they want to remedy their problems, which they do acknowledge. They know so much more of their own history than the average American remembers about theirs, and they are ready and willing to share that. Advice and wisdom that has been passed down through the years is highly valued, where at home it might be viewed more as an "old wives' tale". That being said, some of what has been passed down comes across as more superstitious, like when I am encourage to wear a jacket even when it's 70-something degrees outside, just because it's technically 'winter' now. They are very connected to China as a homeland, and yes, I know part of that comes from the government, but it is also genuine.

I should probably stop, it's almost midnight. I still love the United States, my country, but I'm also loving and appreciating China more and more as I learn about it from its people. I'll hopefully be posting new pictures soon at flickr.com/photos/meimei09/ from my recent trip to Yuelu Mountain!