I'm really weird about jinxing things before they happen,

...so all I'll say is that something big is in the works.

And I'm starting Mandarin lessons.

susie said I don't update enough

But honestly, there's not much to tell. I came home. I've seen some friends and picked up some hours at "Chicken". Some things have changed, some haven't, I've seen some people I never wanted to see again, and the person I was most anxious to see appeared to never want to see me again. You know, the usual. It's a weird place to be, home.

I just applied for 13 jobs online. I've accidentally decided to narrow the search down to China for now, maybe after this I'll do a new country every year. It took too long to get all my documents digitized and the positions in Japan went to other people. I wanted to cry just a little bit when I got that e-mail, my first real, official rejection. But it's like acting, right? You get 1 out of every 100 you go for or something like that? It's still exciting, especially now that I'm really going to buckle down and start working on my Mandarin Chinese! Hopefully I don't get that one job in Hong Kong (they speak Cantonese) or Mongolia. I'm really dreaming of Beijing or Shanghai, a big city with lots to distract me from here.

I'm pretty pumped tonight because I get to spend all day tomorrow with my broski, Keenan. We're eating at IHOP! Tonight, I was showing him pictures of Chinese kindergarteners, and I misheard him and thought he called them "japandas". It's kinda cute.

if "living well is the best revenge",

why don't I feel better?

Revenge is a stupid concept.

now comes the fun part

I've likened this to being a high school senior, looking at colleges (I thought it was fun): you're about to go somewhere totally new, and all the options in the world are available to you. I have my certification, and now I start sending applications and hopefully getting nibbles. So far, I've had two nibbles--one in Japan, one in South Korea. Then there's also Spain and a summer camp in Switzerland. I promised my teachers, "No more chicken". (They had never heard of Chick-fil-A, which I know is blasphemous, but anyway they just called it 'chicken'.) This is the exciting, scary part that I'm ready to fire through so I can get to the living abroad part again, because I'm honestly already a tad restless. Don't get me wrong, it's great being home, even if I was welcomed with tornadoes and hail storms, but it's in my system now and I'm ready to keep moving...forward.

I had my first hot shower in over a month last night

...and it felt like a beautiful, warm hug.

It's all been said and done, I graduated (technically at the top of my class, and I'm proud of it--I worked hard!). Now I'm officially a TEFL teacher on vacation with my mom. We're staying at this adorable place called the Tico Adventure Lodge, I can't really describe what makes it so cute so I'll have to take and post pictures. I'm enjoying some early morning complimentary coffee on our deck, and I'm actually wearing a long-sleeve shirt, sleep pants, and socks! It got downright chilly here last night, and they've built their land here with lots of trees and natural shade to keep things cool. Mornings and evenings in Samara are pretty pleasant for how hot it is during the day. Yesterday morning, I had to get up and walk across town from Cristina's to here, and I didn't have any sunscreen to wear and I forgot to put any on before my mom and I went for a 2-hour walk on the beach. I am a lobster. In pain. It's kind of frustrating after all my hard work to build a beautiful brown, natural tan (I got lots of compliments) AND never having burned once since I've been here. I haven't looked at my chest yet, but it was the worst part and it still hurts this morning.

But honestly, what am I complaining about? I am still in Costa Rica (pinch me, everyday), and I had the best pizza of my life last night. And ice cream here, don't get me started: it's flat-out the best ice cream I've ever had, ever. Their version of "vanilla" is our "cake batter/sweet cream". Oh yeah. I'm having fun, and I'm also excited to be coming back home to the States in just three days. Pura Vida!

I made an important decision this morning

I was having my daily beach alone time, and I resolved to not be living in the States when I turn 23. That gives me six months to find a job and get out. I love home, but now that I know I can do this on my own, away from everything I know, I've just got to do it. I owe it to myself and my family who have supported me and sent me to here to learn how to do this. The program director has called me a "natural", and if that's apparent to others and it feels this right to me, I have to do this. I'm really excited!

this is a true story

In the middle of last week, I stumbled upon a job I had read about before I came here, a volunteer opportunity working with the Chilean government education council and the U.N., teaching English in schools across Chile. I was really excited about this job, and I figured, based on the qualifications listed, that I would be an easy choice. I was about to "go public" with my excitement on Facebook and to my family back home, and then I woke up early Saturday morning and turned on the TV, started flipping channels and found CNN.

Unless you've been living under a rock, you know what I saw on CNN at Saturday morning. 8.8 magnitude earthquake. 700+ dead, at this point. What the heck? I mean, what am I supposed to think about this? I was deadset on that job, and not just that, it really seemed like it was going to be the right thing. My roommates have been telling me that this is God's clear way of letting me know that I shouldn't go, but why do I still feel like I should? I've been so frustrated since Saturday, just trying to sort all this out in my head. I know the saying that we make plans and God laughs, but I'm still feeling very strongly about this, so I'm just not sure what to think.